I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
