eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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