How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
