I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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