I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
