I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
