They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
