I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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