So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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