is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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