a queef is a wish your heart makes.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
