i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
