Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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