i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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