I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Randomize
