Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize