Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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