im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
