I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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