I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
