Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
