She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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