i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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