I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
