She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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