I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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