I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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