Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
