What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
