i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
