You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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