do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
