Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
