I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Even my vagina gasped.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
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