I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
