My Higher Power is John Stamos
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
