Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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