he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
