sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
