I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
