David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
someone owes me an orgasm
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
