We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize