Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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