Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
