Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
