Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
