I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
