this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
