i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
