i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
