i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
