I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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