Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
