I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
