Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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