I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
