theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
