Tell her she can't have a vagina
Say something about gay babies.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
