it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
