Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
