my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
