She said her name was "party"
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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