Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
