ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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