The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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