i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
