"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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