Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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