What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
