I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
