i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
