so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize