I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
