The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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